There is almost no better way to ostracize your significant other and create distance between the two of you than to be constantly self-serving in the relationship.
Selfish actions send out the message, “I don’t care about your needs. I have concerns of my own.” Now, none of us (I hope?) would actually voice this to a person that we do care about, but all too often our actions say it for us.
Why does this happen, then? If we would not actually voice this, why do we say it by our actions? Often times we are tired, worn out, stressed out; and on those days it can be difficult to put forth an effort to actually invest in the other person in our relationship. This is especially true when we get comfortable in a relationship: you know, the seeing each other in sweats without makeup or (guys) scruffy and unshaven. (don’t get me wrong, beards are great, but scruff is another issue.) After we are comfortable, we often stop putting forth all the effort to show each other how much we care.
Often, we take on the attitude of: “well, they are not doing anything for me, so why should I do things for them?” Do you know where that leads though? That attitude digs you farther in to the hole of self-pity and selfishness, and away from a reconciling with the one you love. Love is giving even when we don’t feel like it; even when we are tired; even when the other person doesn’t seem to be. Love fights for the relationship.
A great couple of tools to look in to, if you are interested in bettering your relationship are the movie fireproof (there is a great book that is geared towards married couples which is associated with the movie called “The Love Dare”)
Another thing I have found extremely enlightening about relationships is Dr. Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages. You can take the quiz here. There is also a book associated with this as well.
There are many books I could tell you about that I have read, but I will save some for future posts. Mainly, put forth an effort today, die to yourself, and do something that you don’t necessarily feel like doing in order to show your love to that special someone.
Just for fun and cuteness, let me share a little cartoon with you that I grew up with. It is a wonderful little clip about just this subject: