Taking a look in to our love sessions: focused currently on 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: the next thing we see with love is the fact that it is not easily angered.
What does that mean for us in relationships?
Have you ever had a conversation with someone, and you were pretty sure that they could understand what you were intending to get across, but instead of listening and understanding, your words were picked apart and scrutinized. It probably resulted in the other party choosing to be offended by this or that, as well as you feeling frustrated or even a bit frazzled by the end of the conversation.
This is not a pleasant experience. Now, turn it around. Have you ever been the one caught picking over words? Have you lacked understanding for what the message was because the wording was off, in your opinion? Have you had a bad day, or been in a bad mood, and found that as a good excuse to pick over the words of another?
We need to make sure we are not losing sight of the message for want of better words. We need to make sure we are not purposefully misunderstanding because we cannot let go of our pre-set ideas of how things should be. Everyone is different. Without putting forth effort to understand these differences and allow people to be themselves, we shut down relationship. When this is done too often, it often shuts down communication as well.
It is natural for a relationship, as it develops, to lose some momentum as far as conversations go. You don’t have to get to know every little thing about each other anymore; you may deeply understand what the other person is thinking in just a glance, rather than having to talk about it. However, if you ever find that the lines of communication are seemingly too shut down, ask yourself whether you have been valuing what the other person has to say.
If you want to improve your relationship health, make a point of valuing what the other person has to say; not becoming angry with them if they say things the wrong way, but instead understanding the spirit of what they are trying to tell you.
“2 Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome,not a lover of money.” 1 Timothy 3:2-3
We need to keep ourselves from being quarrelsome. People should come before anything else.
When the Pharisees confronted Jesus about the woman caught in adultery, demanding that she be stoned, his answer was very clear. “Whoever is without sin among you, let him be the first to cast a stone at her.” (John 8:7) He did not stand on the letter of the law like they, he emphasized grace. You see, the law was not created to be our salvation. We are not saved by following the rules laid forth, and somehow achieving perfection. “8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9) The law exists only to show us our imperfection: our need for a savior. “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.” (James 2:10)
Just as Christ emphasis grace, we too should emulate him in showing grace to the people in our lives.