Hello lovely people!
I have been absent much of this month due to the business that comes with moving.
My brother married the love of his life(she is lovely!) at the end of May, and after a brief honeymoon to beautiful Ireland his wife moved in with him in our two bedroom apartment. Though we all love each other, newlyweds need a house to themselves, so I set out on a search for an ideal place for a thirty year old woman to live with her cats (I know, I sound like a crazy cat lady: I am a crazy animal lady in general, but yes, my kitties are my babies.)
In months of searching, I was running out of time, and was contacted by a good friend of mine from church who had a room in her duplex opening up within the month. I was and am so very excited for this new place! I can even garden there!!! There is only one terrible terrible draw back…
I petitioned both the management company and the new owners to allow me to take my cats with me, as this property used to allow pets, but due to one bad experience with a previous tenant, shut that option down. I had no-where else to go, and in three months of searching was not able to find a roommate willing to move in to my two bedroom apartment.
Last weekend, through many many tears (and many since then, I assure you) I had to return my babies to the wonderful woman with Johnston County Animal Rescue who had fostered them for several months before I adopted them. My heart feels crushed. Sometimes I hate being an adult. I wish that unhappy times did not come upon us in life. I wish many things that I cannot seem to put in to words because the emotions are running so deeply within me right now that I cannot seem to get descriptive words to rise to the surface. I woke the first night thinking that my cats were rustling around in the night, and then remembered that they were not there. I have put their tags on my keys in remembrance and am keeping in touch with the lovely woman who is taking care of them.
Between the hearthurting-ness that I am feeling from this, and the effort to move and clean throughout this month, and the volunteer work I do with the church and community, I have been too busy (and sometimes just too worn out) to write. My home computer also stopped allowing me to use the internet for the last week, and that complicated things as well.
Overall, new is always good. One can pave their own path, build a life from the ground up, but to be honest, at thirty, with a divorce, a couple of pretty intense deeply loving relationships that just suddenly ended, and the work troubles (which are gone for the last year, and I am able to rebuild my life in this way too!!!) over the past several years, I am tired. I am weary. I am taking it to Christ to place at the foot of the cross because I cannot handle this all alone.
Don’t get me wrong, there have been many many wonderful things in the past several years as well. Both my younger brother and sister have been married. My sister had a girl a year and a half ago, and is pregnant with a boy (due Christmas day! 😮 ) I have known love. I have rescued a few turtles, learned many new things, and grown in so many ways! I have been miraculously healed of several things (i will go in to this in another article), been on a journey to a healthier me, and come to love myself for who I am with all of my faults (this can be hard to learn how to do when you have been taught humility and to put others first your whole life… it is a delicate balance.)
I can’t wait to show you all several amazing new developments in life, but I will leave that for the move.
Thank you Jesus that you have provided for an abundant and blessed life. Things are looking up from here.
love you guys!